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Mysterious New Face Carved into Mount Rushmore

Rapid City SD.

Visitors to Mount Rushmore were shocked Sunday morning to see an unfamiliar face. Previously carved into the Black Hills of South Dakota are the iconic faces of four former presidents of the United States: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln. The likenesses of the presidents took years to engineer, but miraculously a new face has been carved into the giant granite cliff overnight.

Visiting hikers from Iceland, Aage Elgstrim and his group, were the first to take note of the strange addition. “We’ve been walking across the whole of U.S. since October to go out and see all the parks. We like to start off the day quite early so we walk about 10 miles before we came here as just then the sun came up. Really we didn’t know it was a new sculpture so until I looked at the picture. It seems to be the face of a young boy.”

National Parks superintendent Gutzon Borglum, issued a formal statement at 10:35 calling the new face a tragedy and an embarrassment. “We have no explanation for the sudden appearance of the mysterious face, but we will use every means at our disposal to seek out and punish the culprits.”

Meanwhile, in nearby Keystone, South Dakota, angry protesters assembled to demand the immediate removal of the face. With banners waving, thousands of the protesters piled into trucks, rode motorcycles or trudged on foot toward the National Park. At the main demonstration site Sunday, loud music and local delicacies competed with fiery rhetoric for the attention of the crowd.

The mystery of how such a large sculpture could be carved overnight is baffling. No one can explain it, says local shop owner Crystal Sunshine: “But my own theory which like I believe to be true is that when we pushed our clocks forward one hour, we messed with cosmic time and like really more like a year passed. Just look at the size of that tree, it wasn’t that big yesterday.”

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